Myth World Cup 2019 brings sour taste to Las Vegas residents

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Homer
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Myth World Cup 2019 brings sour taste to Las Vegas residents

Postby Homer » 09 Aug 2019, 02:16

The anticipation of the worlds largest championship tournament as usual brings a huge economic boon to the sad city of Las Vegas, Nevada, where one Myther LP, formerly known as Limp, calls home. With millions of fans and thousands of players flooding into the already packed city for the 2019 tournament year, what could the City of Las Vegas complain about? But unfortunately as with most huge competitive events there is a dark underbelly, and Myth 2 Soulblighter the worlds most popular video game is no exception....Image

Limp ~ "I thought it be great having my internet friends here, but in reality I've had to turn my phone off because all they do is ask me to show them around town, and I can't risk my reputation with the indie crowd if one of my Myth friends says something stupid or gay about a trow or warlock or something." "how would I come back from that as lead singer of a band?"

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Already the multi month tournament has brought in an excess of 2 billion dollars in sales to the City of Vegas. But at the same time crime has tripled with the onslaught of reckless fans partying, not to mention players... For instance Toecutter a once popular albeit poor player has been the latest scandal surrounding the tournament with not one but four underage girls, all of whom were reportedly forced to dress up like creatures from the game.
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Anonymous victim, "He called it two dwarfs, a ghol and a ghast! I thought we were just going in there for like sex or something but this was unlike anything I've ever seen or been forced to do before."

When asked for comment Toecutter's attorney's had no remarks but defend their clients right to role play in any way, shape or form.

When asked for comment from the commissioners office, Paris the self appointed commissioner of the league skirted the question by congratulating his long time friend known only as Thor on a generous 2019 prize sum of 100,000 Yen, or roughly $1,000 US dollars.

Paris, "I want to give props to my homie Thor for having his Japanese mistress Yume donate 100,000 yen for this years grand prize, there are many veteran players coming back for this prize to dummy in this years MWC! However the prize has been deducted for my business expenses but there will be a kaleidoscope for the winning team which I found in my cousins Life cereal box." "Yall have fun with that now, peace out!"
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Crestfallen favorites for this years title match seemed confused at the announcement of the lost prize money, some of the European contingent exclaiming in disbelief, "Why did he bother to announce the prize if we don't get it!?" They said in their thick Scandinavian accents.
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No one had a good answer, but the buzz of the competition prevented anyone from walking away from the tournament altogether.

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RatKing, one of the captains of this years favored teams stated, "It's not really about the money for me, as long as my team has me at the helm anything is possible for them....with me. I expect I'll do great things this year as captain, great things. If more people could play on my level things would really ramp up a notch for the fans but I doubt there will ever be too many other players like me."

Reporter, "What is it about you that gives your team an edge?"

Ratking, "I am glad you asked, that's a really good question, it all started a few years ago when I was in a really dark place."


Reporter, "HOLD ON, let me stop you right there for a second, what do we have here??! Who is this? Oh my!" "How wonderful"
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As you can see things are really getting wild down here at the MWC 2019 series, with this little guy really mixing things up, who knows what's going to happen next? But we look forward to seeing who will win out this year to claim the greatest prize of all, bragging rights.

One player, thought to be most improved so used to playing with 2000 ping, now under the context of real highspeed internet at 200 mps for the pro players has turned out to be real shit. Not knowing how to adjust to real time play without delay, Lord Scary Owl (LSO) has become the ultimate anticlimax of the year getting crushed by underdog Renwood 1 v 1 numerous occasions.

But until the exciting conclusion of this years events come to a close we hope that Vegas stays safe in spite of the human garbage brought in by the worlds most played video game. For now though local residents used to debauchery and tourism remain in their homes afraid to mingle with the freakish ghouls that populate Myth fandom.

adrenaline
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Re: Myth World Cup 2019 brings sour taste to Las Vegas residents

Postby adrenaline » 09 Aug 2019, 20:16

LOL homer! another fine article... keep em coming!

wwo
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Joined: 13 Dec 2012, 14:35
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Re: Myth World Cup 2019 brings sour taste to Las Vegas residents

Postby wwo » 10 Aug 2019, 03:51

I hope things never really improve for Homer so he can continue giving us these Myth comedy gems.

Lord---Scary Owl
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Re: Myth World Cup 2019 brings sour taste to Las Vegas residents

Postby Lord---Scary Owl » 10 Aug 2019, 07:42

Homer you are a godsend.
Amazing article.
I am honored to be your teammate.


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