MWC 2020 Threat Assessment: Business Associates

[Lord---Scary Owl]

The roster I am using matches the one in discord at the time I am writing this, any discord updates will be accounted for
I will only give 5 balls to one player on each team, if applicable, denoting that player as the teams best player in my opinion
one more note, if you disagree with my Threat Assessments, prove me wrong in mwc20, I'll admit my error(s)

The Business Associates
Originally this team was a combined effort of my myself and paris to throw together a MWC team of dudes we like to play with. Due to developments in rosters, an overflow of returning players, and paris & I both wanting to be the head honcho of a roster he is now leading a strong BA. This is all well as he is a capable, yet sporadic, captain who holds the respect of his roster. This roster doesn't strike me as organized (or active) as HOTSQUAD but just as powerful in its mix of players. Definitely a contender for the cup - 4 trow

par73 (captain) - "YO YO PARIS IN FLAMES IS HERE GET READY TO GET FUCKED" starts to freestyle rap - read this in an angry boston accent and tell me you at least aren't mildly concerned for this individual or whats about to happen to your units. if you aren't then you got a problem. paris is someone who plays entirely dependent on his level of sobriety, but is generally hanging with the top. some of the things he can pull off are quite impressive, in fact so impressive that he is pulling them off while 3 hours deep into CBD tinctures and rambling about some obscure concept on voicechat at 3 AM that I think he definitely deserves a special kind of respect - 5 balls

adrenaline - adrenaline is largely considered the best player ever by adrenaline. he's actually very good at micromanaging units, and I've seen him take on 2 4ballers in a 1v2s and hang with them if not beat them. this is however not too helpful if you play csgo all day. adren doesn't care too much for the macro part of myth or the strategic overview keeping him from his 5 ball rating. saying all this he will be a solid hvy hitter for BA - high 4 balls

captain - captain is a solid role player who takes delight in the fetch unit, and I presume other artillery units. saying this he is much like trevelyan, where you can hand him arty units and expect him to do good work with them. he hasn't been very active - high 3 balls

Chron1 - to be honest with you all I don't know much about chron except that he is good at the game. from the handful of times I played with him he's been very good some games and mediocre others. I think the cause is his extreme inactivity - low 4 balls

nemesis - in an era gone by nem was at the top of the top. unfortunately he must always play with the mandatory 200+ aussie ping and at 4 AM sharp. having experience with both of these concepts I can confidently say they suck dick. despite this, nem still plays as a solid role player with the capability to step up to the heavy hitting spot - 4 balls

rawr - rawr is someone whos always talked big, and shared gifs of dwayne the rock johnson with every message he types in discord. these are signs of mental illness. saying that, rawr is a solid role player and can adequately handle most unit sets. now saying that I have seen him lose some pretty winnable fights. another thing hes got going against him, extreme inactivity. from the words of par73 himself, "he can't find a single god damn hour in his day to log onto myth and shake his rust" - 3 balls

samuel -
par73: sam wanna play in mwc
sam: lol
well guess what, sam's been pretty active and enthusiastic about playing. hes signed on for the past few nights and topped several games in kills and damage. sam is definitely a solid role player and a quite capable heavy hitter. this paired with his history in NC and other solid teams points to sam being a top player for B.A. - high 4 balls

Vasazel - once known as Vihaan, a mediocre deer player, he one day signed on as vasazel and slightly rippled the fabric of the universe. similar to ducky changing to bone, vasazel took a step towards becoming better at the game and taken more seriously with his new and advanced alias. vasazel is a solid role player who shows promise for more. he can be relied on to show up, and play consistently, for now (with expected improvement). - high 3 balls

verminix (aka DENTIST) - two words, super insane. "20YER EPSIERNCE REDMERCENRARY ELEGACY OF PISS AND SHIT EDESTORYING FAGGOTS ON A 01000 THOUSNAD PING SNCE THE GNENESIS SMALROLE SLYHTERIN WIZAR WITH AGRIPING REDCOBAR DEATH EMITER" - verminix himself, and he says it all. small role specialist with very intense micro skills. since this is a rating based of off 2t play I can't confidently give VERMINIX a higher rating, but he is excellent at micromanagement - low 4 balls

wwo - old. very old. "don't give me all these units I only want 1 or 2 presets, yeah give me the soulless I can click them around" - wwo (paraphrased). despite his age and old man grumblings wwo is a solid player. I would say his edge is his macro movements and map awareness over his micro, but that's still there when he needs it. even though he would hate every second of it, wwo could serve as a capable backup captain in par's absence - low (and I mean real low and droopy) 4 balls

[DENTIST]

LOK AT THIS DUBM BITCH MAGFAGGOT HANDING OUT THRAET ASMENTS REVIEWS GUY WHO GOES ON FUCKING DUMY ACOUNTS TO SAVE FACE TO 1X1 PEOPLE AND GETS ASSRAPED BEFORE GRNADMA MAKES HER HUCKLEBERY POT PIE AT MIDNIGHT CONSTNAT RECTAL EXAMINE IN THIS FUCKING WEAKBITHC

0 INTEGRITY FROM THIS FUCKING TRAHS KYKE GET THE FUCK OFF THE GAME U PUSSY LOLITA BITHC MADE CUJMRAG

LITERAL STUDNT OF MYTH GETS FIVE PIECED IN THE ORING BY EVEYR PLAYER ON THE GAME

WRITES THREAT ASMENTS LIKE HE KNOWS ANTHING AT ALLGETS SKULFUCKED BY JAHRAL IN 2SECONDS STRAIGHTFLATLINE BODYBFAG IN THIS FUCKJING SKEELTAL DISGRACE

0 BALLS FOR LSO FUCKING NUTERED ANOREXIC PLAY DOLL FOR DADDYS PIGPEN

WOUDLRATE INTO THE NEGATIVE BALLS FOR THIS DUJMB BITHC FAGOT IF THESCALE WASABLE TO SINKTHAT LOW TO ACOMDODATE SUCH A FMEINIEN NOODLENECKED CAVED NOSE UPSKIRT TRASH YONI SLAVE TO THE REDRAG ULTAIMTE UTILITY PUPPET FOR THE CLAMCHOWDER FEASST UPON THE CLOTH

[DENTIST]

ANYTOURANEMNT THATEVEN LETS THIS FUCKING ABUSED BOYSCOJUT NO POTNTIAL FOR FUCKING EAGLESCOUT LEAVE THREAT SASMENTS REVIEWS SHOULD BE ASHASMED OTOTAL DISCREDIT TO THE ENTIRE FRANCHISE

NOT QUALIFIED TOEVNE WRITE A COVERLETER FOR A FUCKING 1THRAL FLAGDUTY ROLE UD ENDUP WITH TOO MUCH CUJM IN UR MOUTH AND FECIES IN UR EYES

SCALPLESS SILICON ENTRYHOLE FOR THE ENTIRE PLAUER BASE EVEYRONE HAS HAD A RIDE ON THIS FUCKIJNG WHITEBELT


WRITEAREVIEW FOR UR FUCKIJNG MOTHER SKEWED OUT ON A GATE OF UR OWN FEMURS UFKCJING HANDICAPED BATLEFIELD RESEREV FUCKING TRAGEDY OF WAR IN UR UNDY DRRAWER UFJKCING SLAVE

[DENTIST]

ULTAIMATE CC*OCK RIDER THATS PRETY MUCH THE USUJMARY OF UR SKILSET

RIDE THE FFUCK OU

0THREA FORM LSO EXPOECT GUSTY SOTUHBY SOUTH WIND GALES NEAR UR GSPOT AND AHIGH CHNACE OF PRECIPTIATOJN NEAR UR POENIS TIP

BEREADY TO SCHOLR LOENYLY MALNURITED BOY YOUHNG CHILD REQUIRES HIHB MAITNEINACE ANADWILINGNES TO FEED

[Lord---Scary Owl]

Verminix. Your argument was actually so convincing. You're even more insane than I thought. Your TA has been adjusted.

No further adjustments will be made until after mwc20.

[DENTIST]

USHOW ME FUCING RESPECT AFTER I OBLITERATE UR UFKCING SHIT COUNTLES TIMES ON UR PUSSY ASS ALIAS ACOUHNTS IWAS RAP ING U 10DAY S BACK ONTO THE SERVER AFTER A FUCJING EIGHT YEAR HIATUS AWAY FORM TEH GAME UGONA DISRPESCT PLAYERS THAT FEED ON UR MINATURE SNACKAPAKC AS A FUCJING WARMNUIP RITUAL UR COAPACITY T OFUCKJIGN BODY PLAYERS ON THE GAME ISEQUAL TO THE WIEGHT OF UR PERESCHOOL NUTS UFUJICNG CUJM DOLL

NEVER FUCKJING DISRPESSEPCT ME LIKE THAT AGAIN U FUCJKIJNG BITHFC ILL PISS FUCKING 4 BALLS INTO UR FRUITLROLUP WHILE MY FLESHSLIGHT IS HEATIJNG MY REHDRHUBY UP

UR A UFJCING EASY MEAL

[DENTIST]

UDSIREPCT RATKING TOO UFCKING PNINNY BITFCH UCANT HOLD A CANDLE TO FUCJIGN RATKJING AND U THINK GOT THE CDAPTIANING CREDENTIALS TO SHIT ON PLAYERS THAT WERE RIDING HARDBEFORE UCOULD PUT UR PANTS ON U FUCKING KYKE

IM GONA GUFCING GUT UR SHIT U SUTPID MOTHERUFIKER

[DENTIST]

U DSISPREOCT PARIS TOO HE GIEV U ROSTER SLOT ON IHS FUCKING TEAM AND U DISBAND ON SOME FUCJING NINY SHI U ARE THE ULTIAMTE PUSYS AND IM GONA RIP INTO UR FCIJNG INSTENISTNIGES ANDUSE UR UFKCING STOMACJH BIUOKLE AS A FUCJIMNG BELYGBBUTON LUBJIRNICAT SO I CAN FUCKOMING SLIDEMY HARFVEST INFOR THE TREANCHEROUS WINTR U FUCJKOING SUCJMBAG ICOUDLJ NAME 100PLKAWIHYERS IN AFUCJING SPLKJITSECOND THATWERE FUCJKMING GNARLEY HALEY ONTHE FUCKING GFAME BEFORE U EVER HIKED UR FIRSTPAIR OF HNANES UP UFUJCING TRAJSHB BITHC

[Lord---Scary Owl]

U DSISPREOCT PARIS TOO

"par73... I think he definitely deserves a special kind of respect - 5 balls" - lso

[DENTIST]

ISEWEAR TO FUCJING GOD U DUSPRECT ME OR ONEMORE PLAYER I CCARE ABPOUT U FUCKMING INFANT IMGONA MAKE IT MY LIFES FUCKING WORK TO TARNISH UR UFKCINF EXITSSTENCE COME FUCK WITH ME PIG

[DENTIST]

UBETER AWTWATCH UR FUCKJING MOUTH IF UR OGNA LINGER IN THAT FUCING MWC LOBY I CANPOP BACK IN THERE IN 2 SECOND AND DATA MINE THE FUCK OUT OF THAT BACKLOG IF I SEE U DISRPEC ANY ONE OF MY FUCKING COMRADES I MF IGONA FUCJKJING MRUDER U SLAVE CROSS THE UFCKING LINE IWHT ME AGAIN U FUCJING PUSSY KEEPSHITING ON THE PLAYERS THAT WERE MURDERING ON THE FUCJING SERVER BEFORE UKNEW HOW TO BOTLE FEED UFCKJING SPOILED BITCH SEE WAT HAPENS WHEN U WANNA FUCK WITH ME

[Lord---Scary Owl]

ISEWEAR TO FUCJING GOD U DUSPRECT ME OR ONEMORE PLAYER I CCARE ABPOUT U FUCKMING INFANT IMGONA MAKE IT MY LIFES FUCKING WORK TO TARNISH UR UFKCINF EXITSSTENCE COME FUCK WITH ME PIG

"verminix (aka DENTIST)... small role specialist with very intense micro skills. since this is a rating based of off 2t play I can't confidently give VERMINIX a higher rating, but he is excellent at micromanagement" - lso

would you call this disrespect VERMINIX? I respect your skills, I dunno what all the fuss is over!

p.s. garnish where the hell are the myrgard emojis I wanted to emoji spam. also why the hell does it auto capitalize verms whole name

[DENTIST]

MICRO UR FUCJING ONSTRILS THE FUCK IN BITFHC IM COMING FOR U

USHIT ALL VOER PLAYEHRS UR A FUCKING DISGGRACE IWOUDL RATHER FUCKING BE IN A FUCKING 2T SCENARIOJ WITHGB A GENIUJNKE SOLID PLKAYER LIKE SPOON OVER UR URFKCING DUJMB BITCH ASS

USHIT ON ALL THE FUCKING VVETS LIKE U KNOW NAYHITNG UR A UFKCMING INFANT IM GONNA FUCKING GUT U THE FUCK UP

[DENTIST]

2T PLAYER ASEMENT WHAT A FUCKOJING JOKE HOWARE U QUALFIED AT AL TO THRAEAT ASSES ANYHTING BESIDES UR LINCONLN LOG COLECITOJN U FUCJING PRESHCOL NINNY

[DENTIST]

UVE CPATAINED A FEW TEAMS MABY U DIDWEL INA FEW TOURMANETS ANDUR GONA HSIT ONVETERN PLAYERS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

[Lord---Scary Owl]

who exactly have I shit on VERMINIX?
perhaps it is not healthy to obsess this much

[DENTIST]

URRATING VETTERN PLAYERHS UHAVE NO BUSNIES RATING STAY THE FUCK OUT OF HTE ASMENTS U UCJNT PUSSY U KEEP UR MOTHH SHUT FMOR NOW ON

[Lord---Scary Owl]

Here how about this: I'll rate who I want how I god damn please. That is all VERMINIX.

[DENTIST]

RATEAWAY U DUMB PUSSY U DISCREDIT THE ENTIRE TOURMANET WITH UR NOSNESE URTHE FIRST ON BLACKLIST FUCK UR MOTHER AND UR ENTIRE FFANIMLY FESTER IN A FUKCJING DEEP ROT U FUCKIJNG NINNY BIHVC