Creatine. not even once

A single berserk reached us yesterday, after having come all the way over the mountains from the city of Willow, fourteen hundred miles away. He delivered to Alric a single package the size of a man's fist, wrapped in rags, and refuses to talk with anyone about events in the West.


switch
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Re: Creatine. not even once

Postby switch » 15 Apr 2013, 01:35

Zyzz is well on his way to being bigger than Jesus. I fully expect Zyzzism to supplant Christianity by 2025.

Vantobia
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Re: Creatine. not even once

Postby Vantobia » 15 Apr 2013, 04:32

That was great. I am going to send it to all my disproportionately formed male buddies. Thanks Hadz you are the best panda girl I know.

Pogue
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Re: Creatine. not even once

Postby Pogue » 15 Apr 2013, 16:53

So much Zyzz it's disgusting. I had my protein of the gods this morning. U mirin jaw brah?

Stick
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Re: Creatine. not even once

Postby Stick » 16 Apr 2013, 12:31


Hadzenegger
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Re: Creatine. not even once

Postby Hadzenegger » 16 Apr 2013, 23:30

>Be at party
>Curlbro gives me a small bag of creatine
>Be at gym next day
>Snort creatine in corner
>Sit in corner for ten minutes
>Suddenly, arms begin to twitch
>Mfw my arms are moving on their own
>Mfw arms drag me to squat rack
>Mfw arms pick up dumbells
>ohgodpleaseno
>Now curling 50lbs in the squat rack
>Creatine demands more
>Now curling 200lbs in the squat rack
>Creatine still not satisfied
>Curl the entire gym in the squat rack
>Creatine, not even once.

Hadzenegger
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Re: Creatine. not even once

Postby Hadzenegger » 16 Apr 2013, 23:32

Sit at the table awkwardly till someone says "get some food don't let it get cold"

Say not for me in dieting sorry

A family member will say "oh dont be silly it's thanksgiving it won't kill you to have a meal with us"

You will say "no you don't understand if I eat it will break my fast"

Another family member will say "son now u are starving yourself? That's not healthy, eat the food your mother preppered"

This is where you start to tear up

"I'm trying to get fkn shredded bra"

... Your family looks blankly in your direction, but don't look you in the eyes

You stand on the chair, Pointing to your stomach, "SHREDDED BRA", you nervously shout

Family still looks on, some embarassed, some nervous, some find it funny

Adrenaline is pumping through your veins, all your senses are heightened, your mom glances at you and leans over to your dad,

She whispers "i found white powder sterons in his room, he had removed the label from the tub but it's clear he is on them, this is a classic case of roid rage, I think we shou ---"

"WHAT"! You yell, she had whispered too loud. Your eyes are burning now, tears start to trickle down your cheek, then stream. Your throat starts to choke up,

"yu - yu youu w w wanna s s see what sh shred shredded FAWKIN IS??" you stuttered, but midway through caught your confidence. You grab your shirt by the collar, it's your favorite but you don't care, it's basically wet anyway you've been sweating do much and your rip it open, buttons fly onto the table, it takes you 2 attempts.

"honey what's the matter?? What's going on?? Please sit down" your mum pleads, before you can respond your father snaps "get down this instant son we need to har a serious talk"

"NO. Dad. Do u even fkn lift? I'm fawkin stronger than you dad if there was fawking barbell right here I'd fkn deadlift it up over this table and ruin the whole god damn meal!!"

All of a sudden, your heightened senses perk up again, the eerie silence of your family members makes it all the easier as well, all you can hear it your own breathing, then it hits you.

You smell it.

A small whiff of pure lust and raw attraction flows past your nostrills. You turn left, nothing, your look right, still nothing. Your family is caught in a daze, frozen half in fear that your next move might be violent, half in pure shock, you have never acted this way before.

The silence remains, as does the intoxicating aroma that has floating by. Then you hear it. Your unsure what it is at first, it's muffled. Then it becomes clear. Footsteps. High heels to e exact. Slowly walking down the wooden floorboard staircase. You turn to see who it is,

The anxiety almost kills you, but suddenly the footsteps steps and out emergs your sister. Naked, sporting only her most seductive heels. The wind blows through the window, and you catch another fresh dose of the smell, it clicks now. How did you not realise before? It was so obvious. The mixed aroma of half her vagina, half antiseptic wipes she had been using to clean herself with while the water has been out this week. It was the kind of smell you get when smokers chew gum to cover up their breath, but it this case you love it.

Your family is flabbergastered, most of them wide mouthed. Your sister moves on into the dinning room with you, her gaze never leaving yours

"sweety what the f***" you dad says "go upstairs and ---" before he can finish you flung yourself across te table and punched him in the jaw, knocking him down.

Petrified, the rest of the family are frozen, trying to anticipate your next move.

By now your sister is next to you, you pick yourself up off the table and stand back onthe chair, "IT'S FAWKING CALLED I.F AND IT'S GONNA GET ME SHREDDED"

Your sisters head is at a perfect height to your crotch, ad you are already rock hard, you have been for a while now. You look down at her and she nods in submissive agreement and untied your button of your shorts, like a spring loaded catapult your penis flings up and out, and is quickly engulfed by her mouth, surprisingly taking it all to the base of your shaft and at a serious pace, the gagging noises and tears in her eyes smudging her mascara only make your harder.

You mum bursts out crying "shut the fck up mum!!" you yell and throw the steak knife at her, missing her by inches. You sit there an u fawking watch this and you enjoy this you command them.

Your sister stops for a second, looks up at you with her perfect round blue eyes and whispers, I've been snorting your white powder sterons in your room for hours now" "it's not sterons baby it's creatine" you calmly reply and gently but firmy guide her mouth back over your shaft.

Out the corner of your eye you see your mum on her phone, trying to hide it under the table. "uh uh, tut tut tut" you snigger, you snatch her phone out of her hand, she had dialed 911 but luckly it ha not rung,

"oh you like technology huh?" "why don't u film this lovely evening so we can relive it every thanksgiving? You set up the camera in her iPhone and hand it back to her, telling her to film oi and your sister or you will quote "rape the entire family"

Your sister takes a tea spoon of creatine and heats it up with a lighter, before injecting it into her forearm. "baby I want you to finish on my face" she suddenly whispers in her sweetest school girl voice "pwitty pwease" and you oblige, unloading a thick layer over her eyes, cheeks and mouth.

You take the camera off your mum and plug it into an HDMI cable and connect it to your big screen, you gather your family to rewatch the masterpiece.

"fawking shredded" you repeat to yourself several times smugly.







creatine, not even once


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