Legendary Heteros Roster Profile

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Universomyth

Legendary Heteros Roster Profile

Postby Universomyth » 29 Aug 2018, 21:27

LEGENDARY HETEROSEXUALS is the most masculine team ever assembled in the history of Myth World Cup, no small feat considering the game's notorious reputation for attracting players with gigantic dongs. Please refer to the following testosterone fuelled beef-cake analysis for greater details regarding LEGENDARY HETEROs unprecedented GQ sexual prowess. No homo.

Seeker
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The unyielding supreme commander of the Legendary Heterosexuals. Seeker's unprecedented access to myth gossip gives him the intelligence capacity to make informed battlefield decisions while matching players to his strategic vision. Deadly calm and resolute under fire, Seeker is leading the Legendary Heteros towards myth glory never before seen by a team of rivals.

Flatline
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Flatline is widely known for his sexual conquests and 110% heterosexuality. Built like a trow in real life the ladies cannot resist his harrowing tales of myth glory. Respects only totally alpha gameplay, Man 2 Man.

Honkey
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Redpilled ultraconservative race-realist MAGApede who shows nothing but disgust for the cuck-boy liberal snowflakes. A real AMERICAN patriot bringing his game mastery to the 2018 myth landscape.

Maxx
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Next generation heavy hitter with his eyes on the prize. Unphased by the odds, and quick to the draw, the ladies swoon whenever Tramist clicks his mouse, they WISH he'd take time off from his laser-like focus on the goal of Myth victory to sexually please two or three of at a time, but he's almost TOO committed to the rules of the game: Bros before hoes

Haibane
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Rookie talent on Legendary Heteros, this guy came out of nowhere to stake his claim to myth greatness. Younger, faster, and far more handsome than the balding faggots populating the other homosexual teams. STRAIGHT shooter. Perfect GRE scores.

Some Loser
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Veteran roleplayer on the Legendary Hetero roster. He's played with the best, seen every single tactic, trick and strat. Been to hell and back again, and can chew his way through a concrete wall, looking good doing it. If your wife comes home late or tells you she's "going to get groceries" you can pretty much assume she's fallen under SL's animal magnetism. Fucked Paris' Mom.

Walterwight
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A splinter in your mind. That little voice in the back of your head reminding you that failure is NOT an option, that you can overcome and triumph if you just get down to work and grind it out. Bangs supermodels on the side, and was divorced three times due to unrelenting commitment to the game. Still loves his kids.

Universo
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Cigar chomping executive heavy hitter for the Heteros. Ties Adrenaline and Cruniac in knots with his Trow skill. Reputed to have once been on Monsters of Cock. Never did DP. Pro family and anti-drug.

Ruin
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GQ Mystery Man, possesses immaculate taste; his style is so sharp you can set your watch to it. A cross between YOLO and THOR but more talented, smarter, infinately more handsome. When he's not crushing gay faggots on the game he's utilizing GAME to BANG 10/10s in the club. Watch out.

Lt. Chowder
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The next East Wind.

Lord---Scary Owl
Posts: 951
Joined: 12 Dec 2014, 01:53
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Re: Legendary Heteros Roster Profile

Postby Lord---Scary Owl » 30 Aug 2018, 00:56

Great Team spirit, I love it. 10/10
ruin is probably an irl idiot* though just sayin :roll: (jk love you ruin)

Universomyth wrote:Universo
Ties Adrenaline and Cruniac in knots with his Trow skill.


This is top notch humor too!


* Garnish has blurred out the word f-a-g-g-o-t, maybe because its offensive or something, but I called ruin a f-a-g

Seeker
Posts: 120
Joined: 13 Sep 2016, 00:59
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Re: Legendary Heteros Roster Profile

Postby Seeker » 13 Dec 2018, 17:09

Most excellent article. 100% accurate. Take note Enculator, this is a good article, unlike your terrible articles.


Last bumped by Anonymous on 13 Dec 2018, 17:09.


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